Uhh what's going on here?

I have become crafty.  I was not crafty with my uterus (no I was not bedazzling it or anything) but as soon as I got rid of it I started becoming super crafty lady.

I already made jewelry but now crochet baby blankets (I know one stitch, no fancy crap but it works) and wood painting stuff.  I blame Jenae (my bestie who is pregnant) because I went on etsy to search for lady bug stuff for her and the prices were ridiculous considering how easy it is to make.

My office has bedazzled crap all over it and Kelly and I actually had an argument where she said "Can you consolidate all your crafting crap", I started laughing because if you would have told me 6 months ago that I would even have crafts needing consolidating I would have not believed you.  My mommIE has tried for YEARS to get me to do stuff because I don't have a drawing ability, I do have a way with colors and putting things together in ways that people don't think of.  Even my mommIE was shocked. 

I also learned how to put up shelves.  We have put up shelves in just about every area of our house that needed (or didn't need for that matter) shelving.  The first one was not pretty but now in about 30 minutes I can put up some shelves.  This has caused frequent trips to home depot.  This brings up another issue, Kelly and I are straight.  Very straight.  When we go out in public however, we look like a lesbian couple.  Nothing against lesbians, but I am NOT a lesbian.  Kelly is NOT a lesbian.  We are roommates.  We don't even live on the same floor of the house, much less the same bed.  I realized this stereotype when I see the stares from people wherever we go, and we laugh at it because if we were on the outside peeking in, we do look like a couple, a very tattooed and pierced couple.  A usual visit to home depot consists of
"Hey do we need shelves?"
"yes"
"what color"
"I don't know, what do you think would look best in the spare bedroom?"
"doesn't matter to me, what about the bathroom?"
"ok, we can get both"
"I need to get a check valve for the basement"
"ok let's go over to plumbing"
"let's stop by the kitchen displays just to look"
"cool"

This has done nothing for my dating post-uterus life. 

I am going to be a barren spinster. 

I am a crafty, cat loving, barren spinster.  This is the life I am destined to lead. 

This also is a great place to stop this post and move onto the next ones...

Cats post-uterus.